Do Better!

Last week I attended our National Multifamily Housing Council (NMHC) conference in Las Vegas along with a number of my CWS colleagues. It’s amazing how it has grown over the years. One person said he was told there were 7,700 people attending. As I think back on my first one, which took place over 30 years ago, I recall it being less than 1,000. 

We were having a meeting with one of our largest lenders, and towards the end of it, there was a question one of their attendees posed about whether there are things they could be doing differently or what we need from them.

For some reason I was particularly eager to share a story, but also knew it was a risk. The impulsive side of my nature took over and I just couldn’t hold back. I told them about a time when I was in a tennis clinic (technically, it was a live ball session at our house, but I didn’t want to have to explain what live ball was), and there was a woman who was hitting the ball, but consistently making mistakes and getting frustrated. Behind her was a guy who was observing her and with whom she happened to have a good rapport. He has a quick wit and good sense of humor. She kept wondering what she was doing wrong and why she was making so many mistakes. The guy watching her finally chimed in and told her bluntly “Do better!”. 

Upon hearing this she was in a little bit of shock and was a bit offended. She told him that he sounded just like her father and she didn’t like it. I asked her if it triggered her and she said yes. I told her she could step out of the session and find a safe space if she felt she needed that. We all had a laugh over the “Do better!” comeback and from that day forward it has lived on at The TenniSphere. It’s now become so ubiquitous in my thinking and responses to people, particularly the woman who was the first recipient of the advice, that I’m considering having that phrase be on the back of TenniSphere t-shirts when we eventually get around to having them made. 

I recounted that story in our meeting and I just said, “Do better!”. As I feared, I don’t think it went over very well because the person that took most offense to it said we’re not going to end the meeting on that note since she treated it as a scolding.. After doing a pretty poor job of trying to explain why I said it we eventually moved on to another topic but that phrase definitely took on a life of its own among my fellow CWS associates.who were in the meeting. In fact, one of them used it in meetings that he had after this one much to his delight and effectiveness.

One of our last meetings was with our second largest lender and a major competitor to the one to whom I told to do better the previous day. To my surprise the CWS associate who loved the expression and used it in follow up meetings asked in this meeting if I was going to tell them about do better. We were running out of time so I didn’t want to go into the whole story other than to say that we told another lender to do better which got a chuckle out of this lender’s attendees. 

Right after this one of our other associates brought up an issue related to many of our properties having too much money In their escrow accounts held for the purchase of future interest rate caps. He then asked the lender if there was anything that could be done to get those released and the immediate response was “Do better!”. The room exploded with laughter and the meeting came to an abrupt close. To have the tables turned on us was karma while also making our meeting quite memorable. In fact, one of the top people in the organization who was at the meeting said that he loves meeting with us every year as our interactions are always so informative and humorous.

Now I want to draw a distinction between “Do better” and another phrase that I will bring up shortly that bubbled to the surface when I was reading an article about Vince Gill. I was led to reading about Vince Gill because very recently the guitarist of The Eagles since 2001 had to retire because of issues related to Parkinsons. This took place just as they’re starting the next phase of their residency at The Sphere in Las Vegas. This led me down the rabbit hole about who they were replacing him with. In one of the articles I read about the new guitar player it didn’t mention Vince Gill as being a member of The Eagles which caught me off guard. 

Vince Gill replaced Glenn Frey after he passed away fairly suddenly in 2016. They happened to be good friends so it was bittersweet for Vince Gill to replace him. It turned out that he is still with The Eagles so everything is good on that front. Once this was confirmed I was interested to read an interview with him discussing his experience with The Eagles and why he was chosen to join the band.

In a recent interview he recounted what Don Henley said when he asked why he wanted him to replace Frey. His response was succinct but powerful as recounted by Gill.

“He smiled and said. ‘Because he knows how to be in a band,” Gill recalled. ‘That was just such a beautiful validation.’” 

I can’t tell you how important that is from a CWS perspective. To have people who enjoy being part of a team and meaningful contributors within a team culture has been central to our success. There is a belief in working for something bigger. 

Gill went on to say:

“I don’t have to have the attention. I don’t have to have the spotlight. I don’t have to do all the talking.”

And he then goes on to say, and this is where the next expression comes up that I want to call attention to:

“It’s proven to me that it doesn’t really matter what role you have, just as long as what you’re trying to do is make it better. That’s what I like.”

Do Better and Make it Better

That statement got me thinking about the distinction between “Do better” and “Make it better”. 

Both are important but the former applies when you already have the skills, knowledge, and training. As a result, when you tell yourself to do better or someone else admonishes you to do the same, it’s not because you are lacking in anything, it’s just you’re falling short and it’s up to you, often in conjunction with a coach, mentor, friend, etc., to figure out why and take corrective action.

Don’t make excuses, don’t blame others. Just do better.

Making it better, on the other hand, Is something that is already working and effective. It’s a mindset and an approach that is focused on continuous improvement and being committed to that even if it’s already great, like The Eagles’ music.

Over the years I have striven to get to a point where I have some degree of mastery such that there are always opportunities to pick myself up after falling by, quite simply, doing better. At the same time, to be part of a group, team, organization, etc. that is already functioning well but always being committed to making it better is also a wonderfully positive and effective way of building and growing a company, family, team, or band.

The next time you’re disappointed in how you’re performing or someone you care about may be falling short as well, don’t be afraid to tell yourself or others to simply “Do better!”. And don’t be defensive if someone tells you that as well. Finally, if you are part of a team then I strongly encourage you to have a mindset of always doing what you can to make it better, because if you do this, then you will become an invaluable contributor.